texting someone new is always weird.
like how do they feel about all lowercase letters? do they think it looks dumb? do i have to use super proper grammar and punctuation? will they know im being sarcastic when i start abbreviating words? are they a haha or lol person? are they a strict no acronyms kind of person? how do they feel about pet names? what’s their stance on emojis?
friend: [sends me a link to an eight minute youtube video]
me: what the fuck i dont have time for this
It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind
my english teacher retired and she just is so snide
personally I think the dog is even more snide
me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made
We have no idea what he’s doing…
drinking water but in a punk rock way
Can we please talk about this?
yo what’s up with those days when u have to pee like 35 times
0 to 100 real quick
but imagine pulling the wrong lipstick when youre not paying attention
wanna know how i got these scars
im making friends with the netflix customer service guy
how sweet of you
I’M TALKING TO A DIFFERENT ONE AND TROY ASKED ABOTU ME